I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
