none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
