Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The feeling are messing with the penis
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
