You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
