You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
