I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
