have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
