You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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