A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
