Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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