This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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