OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
