I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
