as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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