I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
