Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?