I chose taco bell over sex...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..