I want to have your abortion
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
