I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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