You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
