It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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