just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
