What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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