this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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