I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize