Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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