Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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