just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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