If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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