I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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