I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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