Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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