im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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