I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
