seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize