"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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