don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
