There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
