we have officially lost it.
id be glad to
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
