I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
