Apparently you make a good broom.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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