you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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