dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
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u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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