summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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