would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Randomize