I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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