Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You've changed since you got that strap on
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
