He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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