he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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