This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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