yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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