thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I believe in your delicious
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
