whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
