So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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