He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
did i just pee glitter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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