I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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