Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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