You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
