oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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