Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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