Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
