I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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