Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
