I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
