I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
