Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Farmville is her only friend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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