Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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