I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize