jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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