a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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