So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Come see our sink grown plant.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
