So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
