you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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