You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
