I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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