I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
