The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
